everything shapes us

 “Owning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it. Embracing our vulnerabilities is risky but not nearly as dangerous as giving up on love and belonging and joy—the experiences that make us the most vulnerable. Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light.”
                                                                                                               -Brene Brown

 When I was younger, I used to seek answers for everything. Why, why, why. And then...in frequent moments of self pity...why me?? Of course these questions where rhetorical because there were no answers...only more questions + more suffering. The questions were endless and they varied slightly but at the root of all the asking there was a deep suffering and an inability to accept reality. So, that time and way of being was not healthy or productive and led me into even deeper pain and denial; an even deeper separation from my true self. But now...I realize that it was necessary. Now I know that everything shapes us. Especially those lost years of drowning in a sea of discontent and unhappiness. Especially those times.
Now...I am not seeking answers because I understand that these things can change from day to day, hour to hour. What I am seeking is courage.
*The courage to be brave... 
*to live with my whole heart.
*The courage to be seen.
*The courage to love (greatly),
*to do my work,
*to speak my truth.
*The courage to walk away when necessary and
* the courage to stay and fight for what I believe in as well. 
 Now...I am a seeker of the brave + the true. Within mySELF.

 “People take on the shapes of the songs and the stories that surround them, especially if they don't have their own song.”    -Neil Gaiman

 For so much of my life...others wrote my stories for me, telling me who I was, what I could + could not do. Now...I have the pen and paintbrush in my hand. I am seeking the courage to be my whole self and to claim (and share) my stories. With heart. With compassion.
With every ounce of my being...I believe that our stories matter...that they truly + deeply matter. I believe that we are all story-tellers, truth tellers and the keepers of our stories. Our lives + experiences are our stories...and they shape us. Everything shapes us.